some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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