It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
