Fine. I'll sleep in my office
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
