There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
