I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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