You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
