Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Someone signed my nipple.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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