Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
