Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
