either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
