I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
