it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
