She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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