Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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