I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
