Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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