Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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