i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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