she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
