Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
