very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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