bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
