after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
