found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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