onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
