i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
