i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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