Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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