think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
