Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
