Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
