This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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