just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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