dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I CAN MOONWALK!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
