"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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