I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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