Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
