I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
