The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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