He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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