My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
