dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
