I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
