Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
