I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
