So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
