So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You're a waste of cheezeits
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
