I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
