I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So vagazzling was a success
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
