its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
