She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
