She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
