That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
