his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
