Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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