oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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